You're not even here, and I wish I wasn't

I should have gone with my gut and brought out the stuff to paint, but as I said, I'm too emotionally defeated to care right now. I'm not sure how you'll get a hold of me tomorrow as I'm barely even thinking about sleeping now...I guess. Maybe use google to call? at least to wake me up. 

I'm sorry I'm so useless. I'll take the first job I get, but I suppose that would require me applying again. I guess I'll go back to that. I suck as a house wife anyways. I don't know what I was thinking. I should have done more. i would cancel the photographer but people already expecting the photos. Like an idiot, I got a dress and everything. Stupid, I know. 

You are going to be tired anyways, partying and jet lag. I'm sorry this is such a shitty home coming. I'd stay with your boys if I were you....

You deserve better. You deserve an idiot like Kristi. Someone who keeps their mouth shut, or at the very least at least doesn't bother her husband with her stupid opinion. 

I should delete this, or at least not send it. I guess it will go on the blog with all the other idiotic moments I have. Fuck my life. Why should you change, at least you have a job. I can't even get that. Who the fuck am I to tell you or anyone what to do. I should just be a child care provider, shut the fuck up, sit in a corner and color. 

All over a god damn email. worse, a text. from someone i don't even like. awesome. she wins without even trying. Not her fault. my fault for having a know it all opinion. Well, I don't know shit. 

i'm just sorry you're stuck with me. its 2:29 and I wish I could drink but that would be worse right? I've worked 6 months on not smoking or drinking, and I'm ready to throw it all away. I'll get over it. I always do. 

Breathe, eat, sleep. Wake up and do it all over again, until one day it's not as hard anymore.

I am just a Wife...

Today is a bad day. One in which I feel has been postponed for quite some time, but is ever lingering. --It is a rare day that I allow the worst of what Mr. Boots says about me to resurface and resonate within me. But today is that day. And today, I realize, I am not an attorney, I am not any one special, I do nothing extraordinary for anyone, including myself. I am just a wife.

I have wrapped up my entire existence into holding this one title- "Wife."  My pride is no longer in myself, but in what I can help my husband achieve in his career. Not in how I look, but in  the appearance of who people see on his arm. I have become an ambassador of my husbands household and goodwill, and at the very least must maintain appearances. If I can not be a good wife, I should at least appear like one.

This is no ones fault but my own. My husband never asked me to give up my entire life, my self worth, or my security to follow him....but I have, and so it is....My friends are his co-workers wives. My family is our unborn child. My financial security, dependent on his kindness. And, my self esteem dependent on his and others approval....When I fail at "my job" I feel absolutely worthless. I do not cook, I hate cleaning, and I can't get a job to contribute to our income...So, in sum, I am just a wife...a title granted to me, and held by so many others that do it so much better than I.

It could be worse. He could leave me. Then I'd be nothing. So today, I am just a wife...but at least I am that.

Thus, today will be a recoup day of picking my face up off the floor and going on. I will not cry. I will tell myself I am happy. I will clean the house I am trying so desperately to make a home. I will attempt to repair the plumbing that is consistently failing. I will discipline the unruly dog. I will do the laundry. I will get the bills paid. I will volunteer as a good wife is expected to do.  And, I will go assist the supervisor's wife install her deck because our husbands are away on duty.

I will attempt to do all this while trying to keep from crumbling inside.
I will do this without complaining to, or about, my husband.
I will remind myself, that it will not get better, it will only get worse.

He will always be gone, and even when he returns, he returns to duty.
It will only get worse.  I will always be alone.
If I can accept it, I can work with it.

This is the life I chose, so be it.

What I didn't say....

What I said: I love you.
What I was thinking:  Below.
How I feel: Better now that I wrote it out.
The end result: nothing will change. I'll send your fathers day cards to you, and another letter thanking you for all you are to me, and how proud I am...Life will resume. I'll call for fudel tomorrow. I'll proceed on living my life as YOUR wife. Because if I don't. well then what are we? I don't want to talk about it. Period.

I need a effing thank you. A simple acknowledgement that while I am not working, I am probably having an equally hard time. My refrigerator is empty, because I wait on paydays. My House is effing ridiculous, because shit is breaking down all around me. I can't do laundry and take less thank 5 minute showers because the water is fucked. The dog is going through his phases, and you are NOT here to help. NO ONE HERE gives a shit. I'm away from anyone that does. So a little courtesy...If I wanted to be single and do it all by my fucking self, I would have chosen that life, but I wanted a PARTNER. somone to share life and all its burdens with.  But I keep that shit to a minimum, and think how can I make your day a little beter. What can I send to make life a little nicer. and I'm told you have too much shit, you don't like the shit, etc etc. My instant reaction is Fuck it. Next time I won't send shit. My instant reaction is fuck, why even send a card. If its so much extra shit, FUCK it. Why bother being a wife. I'll save myself the heartache of going to the fucking mailbox each month realizing nothing I can send in a flat rate box matters. 

You ask what MORE you can do. You can say thank you and mean it. Not the obligation. 

I need a small, "thank you, baby, I know its rough" -a-  "I know babe, and the office is loving the stuff I don't use",-a-  "can I just remind you, that I love you for all your do..." 

NOT a defensive "I am appreciative"

Think outside of you. Think of what I need. Think of what your parents need. Think of what the people who spend the time money and effort to make you smile may need. 

I don't want to talk to you right now. I am beyond pissed and hurt at how you can't come up with a way to hold your arm out while you hold a box with the other arm is so difficult.  I manage to send you PLENTY of pictures of me from my cell phone doing just that....and all I asked for was ONE. 

So maybe I should say thank you. Thank you for making all my effort on you seem worthless. From this point on "Fuck it" -the house can fall apart, the tickets for the wedding can come whenever, the water can run out. FUCK IT ALL, if none of it matters. 

Frustrating night

I love you. I do. Hopefully time will heal this. I never knew I could feel so very, very alone.

Happy Easter Baby!

Happy Easter 2012-Deployment #1

Ever try sleeping with a broken heart...

Truth be told I didn't...couldn't even sleep in "our" bed tonight.

So I'm laying on the couch, thinking about drinking, knowing I probably won't...because it wouldn't make me feel any better.

I'd cry, but I'm so used to this, there aren't even any tears.

Insecure moment

Dear Husband,

Because our talks are becoming dramatically shorter, I'm becoming bi polar.
On the one side, happiness because your finally sleeping, on the psycho side, I'm wondering jealously, is he really sleeping?

Its an insecure moment, and I'm sure it will pass, but rather than bug you  I thought I'd blog. :)

I promise I won't spam your fbi wall.

In other news, the dog talks in his sleep. Lol. That is al....

I love you,your wifey

Sleeping in your bed

Insomnia is starting to suck. I'm hoping your okay. I know your "real" doctor visit was today, and I'm actually very worried about you. I know there's nothing you can tell me, or rather there won't be an opportunity to tell me for awhile, but I am concerned. I just want you healthy and happy always.

Anyways, left hands itching, is that visitor or money? Hmmmm.

I love you, your wifey  

414

At least I'm in our bed.. I need to sleep, boo.

Wide awake

Its 0453, and I'm wide awake I stressing on how your going to tract to my latest email.

The last time I was any where near critical/ made a suggestion, you didn't talk to me for a week...

I just feel I'm setting myself up for the silent treatment because I see your boredom from a different angle. The kind of angle that would be cause for more judgement and disciplinary punishment.

Please remember you love me because I see things differently than you. Please.

I'm so scared your going to shut down. Please don't. Please. I'm begging you.

I just love you so much.

I see this going so wrong, so fast.

God I'm scared, especially about you, getting in trouble.

  I do love you, I hope you know that. The worst part is I can't talk to anyone about this. That's how I know its an issue. Please forgive me. Without you, I'm alone.
I'm up, waiting on you, hopefully you'll write.

Love You, Your scared wife 

A bad day isn't so bad with you

So admittedly, today sucked. Apparently the toshiba black screen is common enough to have multiple post, so maybe it was its time. I'm going to set up desktop...is it wireless capable, or do I need to set up dsl lines. It will determine location. Thank you. Exhausted. Passing out now. ;)
Love you. 

Things I'd like to do while in Alaska...

So, as I lay in insomnia...I watch a DVD I unearthed...Project Runway...I'm sure you're thrilled I'm watching  it alone. One of the challenges (making ice skating outfits) made me think, I've never ice skated...and I should...

So I thought I should make a list of all the things I'd like to do while we are here....so, without further ado

My LIST OF THINGS TO DO WHILE IN ALASKA
(In no particular order, and of course with YOU!!!)

1. Ice skate
2. Go sledding (with you!!!)
3. Mush (like lead a team?)
4. Learn how to shoot my bow and arrow
5. Talk to Elders here
6. Pet/Feed the reindeers
7. Ride "the polar bear" ? (apparently its a ride or something off of peridot?)
8. Go to the hot springs.
9. Paint something mushy on those Rocks we always pass that are spray painted.
10. Try Anchorage again, without being BLEH--maybe see Bekah in Nome
11. Get on a HOP to HAWAII. Even if we only stay a weekend!
12. Go ice Fishing (for a moment, until I freeze, or catch a fish.
13. Fish in our backyard.
14. Ride a sled machine
15. Attempt snow boarding? Maybe?
16. Go to a Roller Derby
17. Go to the Rubber Ducky Race thing
18. Have a kid
19. Buy our kid "Made in Alaska" Hoodie (blue) --its an amanda V. thing.
20. Make every moment we're here count...okay...this is the only one that is a number one priority.


 I hope you're sleeping. I took benadryl, so hopefully its all bueno soon. >.<

I Love YOU! You are my EVERYTHING. Be safe!!!

LOVE YOU!!!!! Your WIFEY

$50? you like? Picking up at 2pm otherwise?

He did Not learn.

I am so mad right now.

I beat the Dog...

So, last night around 1 am, I discovered the dog went into my coat and pulled out the "donated items" I had picked up from Billie for the Silent auction later this month...3 bracelets, and 3 ribbons done in paracord. Not having caught him in the act, I decided to let it go. Upset, but damage being done, I just fretted as to what I was going to do about it....

 Well, this morning I discovered How the dog had done it...My jacket has a HOLE in it. A Hole is in the side of my jacket...SO...I was mad, but I put him outside, as again, there was nothing I could do about it...

After letting him back in for a bit, I decided it was sunny, albeit 7 degrees, and now would be a good time to shovel...I threw some of the already mangled items like "duct tape, that he stole." and the tug toy he ripped off the fence for him to chase off the balcony...

 Apparently I was not paying him enough attention, or these toys are inappropriate,  because as I am shoveling, I turn around to see him running out the door with my Brand new Throw pillow I had gotten from the attic. This was the last straw...and having him in the act, I decided to make use of it...

I yelled at him to drop it, he thought it was a game, I cornered him, and hit him repeatedly with my glove (this way its loud and scary, but not physical)...He bolted and ran into the house,....Where I chased him with the pillow, and cornered him yet again. I held the pillow up to him, and repeatedly hit him with my glove and yelled NO. It worked...he was terrified...

I almost feel like I over did it...but his destruction has has no limits...He thinks if he can reach it, he can have it...and he's been pushing the limits by jumping on chairs, tables, and even your TV stand...So he needed to be put in check.

 I waited 5 minutes. and I went back to him. Although he was scared, he rolled on his back...I rubbed his belly, and sat with him and hugged him, I told him in human that he needed to start behaving and that this nonsense of him taking whatever was going to end....I figured it couldn't hurt. We went back to the room where the pillow was, and I put it back. He just "sat" at the doorway. I think he got it... Now I moved him into the living room, and I think both of us being physically and emotionally tired are going to take a nap.

 I hate making our Dog scared, but I know it needed to be done and sooner rather than later, as I can't have this go on while you're away. Hopefully you agree. --Its not the "Dog Whisperer" way, but I think with a situation in which "walking the dog" to attain dominance becomes impractical, I needed to assert my Alpha-role SOME way...Fortunately this incident took place both inside and out of the house; so, maybe the lesson is learned, I Rule, all the time in any place. We will see how long it sticks. (sigh)

 I love you. Just thought I'd give you a play by play of our afternoon. Be safe, you are our everything.

 Love YOU, Your Wifey

Guard Dog on Duty

So, I'm drifting to sleep...and out of nowhere Crazy sounds start coming from outside the bedroom...I'm not sure if they are upstairs or what, but I grab the .40, clear it from its holster, and the dog has already woken up and is scoping with me...I turn on one light, two lights, the hall light, its coming from the closet... The salt was being used in the water softner... But the dog was ready! LOL.

The bad purchase, I guess

I need you...I love you

Dear Husband, I can't tell you how much I need you...as in I need you to be happy, and well. I pray so much for you to be safe...I can't tell you how much I love you, and how lost I'd be without you. I don't need anything but you! Please take care of yourself. Sleep and don't worry about me. I will do better, and make this house a home. You just need to take care of yourself. Heal, and rest, and tell me whatever I can do to make life better for you. I Love YOU! Your Wifey!

Outside the Wire...Not Giving Up

Watch "Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up [ On Screen Lyrics ] HD" on YouTube

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

Even on our weakest days...

I know today wasn't our best day, and I'm sorry.

I know that you said it was "nothing I did," but perhaps, I didn't do anything to make the situation better either...I know I need to BE YOUR SUPPORT. Your safety net. Not a mirror. So I'm sorry. I know you just need time.  But I just feel like I failed you today.

I try not to cry, and force myself to smile--a lot...I keep this song in my head lately. The lyrics, at the very beginning of the song, describe my every morning....
"Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain
But I brushed my teeth anyway
I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face
I got a little bit stronger" 

..Not so much with the rest of the song,,,that you left me because you wanted to, but because I know you had to. I know you would be here for me if you could. I only hope you know that I would be on a plane in less than a heartbeat if it got me closer to you. I really would.

Anyways, I try to stay strong, but thats unfair for me to tell you to do it. Know if you can't, know that I am here to listen, or not say anything. We could just look at each other? Have dinner over skype, one night maybe?  I'd do anything to make you feel better. To make you excited about deployment again. I know this is not what you expected. But "it is what it is"--I know.

Anyways, know I love you. YOU are my everything. and there could never be another....I'm so sorry I'm still new at this, but every day I learn. I'll try to do better.

I love you, YOUR Wifey

Damn you snow...

Today, Alaska's White Beast reared its ugly head...As I was ever determined to clear the 3' x3' space covered in ICE that has been blocking me in from using my back door --visualizing all my frustration at deployment, and harnessing all my independent female prowess, and hacking away inch by inch--I accomplished 3/4's of my goal. After an hour an a half, the door now opens 3/4 of the way. Exhausted and frustrated, but still very proud, I idly pulled at some ice near the deck railing...it cut me. A damn icicle cut me! My finger to be exact...Not deep mind you, but enough to require some Neosporin and a band-aid. (Sigh.) Today I call it a tie, ALASKA SNOW..One day, I will beat you. One day.

Dear friend who's call I didn't answer,

Its 1: 42 and I'm barely going to bed. Rough night of just missing my husband. I want so much to make things easier on him, but I know its just part of it. Putting on a brave face and smiling is just the hardest...le sigh. just another night as just another deployed soldier's wife. 

I feel better now...

So, after the panic,...and....

After getting off skype with you (hahah) (ninja), I realized I got a text from Jodi. She has a back to back showing of the apartment at 5:30pm and 7pm. And wanted to know if I was okay with that. Also, if I wanted to do my walk through with her at 6pm with her, tomorrow. Ofcourse, I tell her. BLEH

I realize then, that, shit I forgot to post washer, dryer, and kennel I was so excited about getting the grill here, and talking to you...SO I post on ALL my facebook boards, and begin to post on Craigslist...Before I even get on CL, I have an inquiry on the kennel and W/D....Before I post on CL, I have a second inquiry on W/D...So it looks good for now...The ads are as follows:

http://fairbanks.craigslist.org/for/2874886728.html

http://fairbanks.craigslist.org/for/2874891863.html

Here's HOPING!

So Tomorrow my day is busy... 11 am Scholarship meeting...Then to Mr. Rixies...Then 2:30-4:30 at NPHS for Mock Trial...then, back to apartment at 6 for walk through. All at minimum, if people don't come by to see kennel or W/D.

HAHAH! Yo' Sexy ass (ninja) wifey did good tonight!

Okay I Love you, still need some Icey Hot for arms....hella sore still! Again, sorry for getting emotional and needing a call from you today. It meant the world that you did. Makes me feel like even more of a heel for the other night. I hope I made it up to you.

You are my everything. Be Safe, and please, be patient with me.

Love YOU, Your Wifey

The Wedding, Getting you there...

So, still not knowing WHERE this wedding is, I can only assume that I am sending you to Jackson MS...

If so, If I ASSUME that we get you from HERE to Seattle, that takes you on Alaska air at $384 each way not including taxes, totalling apx $768 From Seattle, if I put you on Southwest, I can get you to Jackson at apx $275 each way, which was $553 with taxes... so thats $768 (no tax) + $553 = 1321 which is about $800 lower flying JUST using Alaska Air. The downside is, there is NO changing flights, you could get bumped, etc etc. because this is all web special, buy it now type of pricing. SOOOOO.....about $1400 would get you there and back. THAT way....but you'd need to take leave accordingly

Me...well, I could Go from Seattle to El Paso for 200 BUT  El Paso to Jackson would be ANOTHER 250, so thats not bueno. And I just don't see the point in going if I can't see my family. So my ticket would be about 1600+ some tax. And thats on the best case, econonmy, no change seat route...

SOOO, 3000, which is still 1 grand LOWER than just using Alaska Airlines alone?

SOOOO $3000 divided by 6 months (between now and then)....Which would mean about $250 per pay check being stashed away between NOW and then.

Don't know if that makes you feel better or just educated? I think we need alaska airline cards.  If we put fuel on it, the points should help out? maybe? but maybe not in time for the wedding. but for eventually, I guess.

Le Sigh. Just thought I'd run the numbers again. I'm tired. 11:45 here. TTYL

Love you. you're my everythuing.

Sledding in AK, Wish you were here!

Watching Clean house on the TV I hooked up ;)

Muscle rub

2am... the cleaning chick confirmed. she'll do our carpet for $40 on Monday. So happy, because I thought she'd bail...plus, at $40, that's only 3 more than a rental..and I don't have to drive. See I think.

On another note, I have muscle rub all over my arms. I'm in such agony. But my mind is finally calmer.

I'm sorry I was tired and vulnerable today. I am so thankful to have such an understanding husband that worries about me.

I love you so much. Please remember that. Love you, Your (ninja) Wifey

Hunter found a fortune cookie...

It reads, "Contentment is just around the corner for you. Look forward!"

Lucky, stupid dog. ;)

Missing you...

Dear Husband,

Today has been extremely busy. Kristi came in the early morning for her tour of our house, and to pick up boxes for her move. Then I was off to Santa's House to meet Bekah for shopping and lunch. Then, to avoid the blizzard (lol), I went to the high school. I got home around 5pm,  and proceeded to build up the new house...switched carpets in living rooms, added shelves to entertainment unit, and now about to search for the electronics.
....
Which was fruitful, until I  discovered I was missing cables. Blah! ...

Oh well. My point was they say keeping busy makes it easier, but I don't think it does.... I think it just makes me tired.

Plus, I want to tell you how my day went...so busy doesn't work on that level for me. Plus I hate missing your free time.

If this keeps up, I'm going to start taking naps like my mom said and just wake up when you do...

In other news, the ACS guy comes tomorrow, so internet should be back up and running!!! Here's hoping!!!

Okay, going to snooze til you wake me...I know busy day with first shirt....so I understand if you can't til later, but my skype and get chat will be on, and phones as loud as it can go so keep messaging...you're bound to wake up me or the dog...speaking of which, he has resumed guard duties. See picture. :)

I love you. You are my everything. Be safe, be patient, be humble.   Be thankful we have this!

Love YOU, Your Wifey  

How did I do it you ask? Curious George taught me.

Now EVERYONE feels at home...

You know its home when the shoes go up ;)

Love you, PENDING

Dear loving Husband,

I am hoping this email finds you well rested, and not missing a shift.

I can't remember what your new hours are, or if they are returning to the so-called normal.

I facebooked who I could to say thank you...and house is already beginning to take shape.

After you went to bed I Picked up groceries. A lot because I'm basically restocking. Which is sad.

Any who, just wanted to say I love you, rarrrrr.

Be safe, you are my everything.

Love YOU, YOUR WIFEY

You always know what to do...

After working so hard on the fire, I found it nearly impossible to leave...so I went through a few boxes and landed with two washcloths and a small towel...I found your shampoo, my body wash, and detangler. No curtain, but all the makings of a bubble bath...

I'm soaking now and dosed myself with meds. Hopefully they will kick in.  After writing, I'll work on detangling my hair...

That way, at the very least Ill have combed hair and be clean for Bekah. Sigh...so loving this bath.

You're always so right.

Love YOU, Your Wifey

Wifey make fire

Almost...

Dogs, Cats, and Peeing

So, I was so exhausted last night lp that I failed to mention sometime between me cleaning and packing Princess' liter box, she peed on some towels. . . Understandable, I took her box away... the smell is horrible though.

I learned just now after two washes and googling, vinegar should work...I'll try that when I get back to old house...

Waking up at 0500, I put boots on to take dog out, I'm around the corner on the steps, when I hear him peeing on the deck...I yell, he gets down steps, but the deed was done...

Sensing the cat hadn't peed all day, I scooped her up and put her in the "room" with the box, and closed her in...I showed her the flap, and she's like, "bitch." But  I figure out of necessity she'll learn if she wants out.

The dog has already attempted to show her as well. She is not grateful.

But oddly I let him do it, and I think she understands if stupid dog can get nose through, maybe I can too.

We'll see. I've heard the flap! She's out! Now I just did the same with her food and office...she's a smart cat. Maybe she'll get these are her doors.

Okay, 0600 alarm set for 0800.

Need to unload fragiles I left in truck, set dog up outside, then back to old house.

Guess what? I heard the flap. I have a smart cat. Smiling ninja!

I know I complain, but thanks for Hunter...he's slept by me all night. Now I know why people let dogs sleep with them.

Okay, here's hoping I get another two hours in.

I love you, be safe, you're my everything.

Love YOU, Your Wifey

Office Done, Done!

Office done

My beautiful roses, from my loving husband

The house is good, but...

No matter what

I love you
I believe in you
I know we will get through this together.

Love YOU, Y OUR WIFEY

China cabinet done, and placed strategically

0600 sick

I have no idea what he got into, but he's throwing up bile now.

Be grateful our vet is closed until monday. 

01: 45 your dog

Your dog is not to be trusted. I thought, poor guy, he's sick, he'll come back,...
Took me driving the truck to get him. He is SO back on leash. Cmon wednesday.

Oye Vay!

Making boxes

As Cake Boss would say, "That's how you pack a room, baby."

Done

Your room sucks!!!

I'm a little mad at you...

Clean empty bathroom

Empty bathroom

Half a closet, all shoes

Bathroom closet

Gross

Better.

So much for sleeping

Or packing. 0000...and coming in from taking the dog out twice.

If I could quit, I would, but that's not an option. So, some where between packing that fourth box and checking our credit statement, I lost Kristi's grace. Hopefully with Some sleep, I'll regain it.

Even Venting fails me. Hopefully, sunlight won't.

Cruises from Anchorage

What was on the Spouses Forum:

IT'S BACK! This was HUGE savings for us last year and we had a BLAST! A must do! The military has once again negotiated another 50% off sale with Major Marinewww.majormarine.com . Their first special will be offered on 1 Mar 2012 from 0800 - 20:00. The reservations can be used anytime during the summer and you can change the dates if needed dueto you scheduling challenges.!

 

Alaska Day Cruises: Alaska Glacier & Wildlife Cruises - Major Marine Tours 

www.majormarine.com 

Alaska glacier, wildlife and whale watching cruises and tours in the Kenai Fjords National Park and Prince William Sound with Major Marine Tours. The only Alaska day cruise to feature a cruising restaurant, reserved indoor seating, and a uniformed ranger on every signature cruise.

http://www.majormarine.com/

Info: EVERYONE THAT CALLS during those hours gets the deal! Military only! I would call right at 8am though. Last year they were taking phone numbers and calling back 2 hours later for reservations

Just an Idea...

George!!!

Its 01:47, Do you know where your wife is?

She's wide awake...watching DC cupcakes...yeah. Insomnia sucks.

Web Cams, My Love, My Hate

Dear Husband,

Its amazing how something like a web cam can make deployment so much easier...I will be heading to the store  tomorrow to price a mic for ours.

Tonight, and every night,  you make me feel like I'm the only woman in the world you would ever want. For that I am so so grateful. Because you are the ONLY man for me.

I love you my angel. Be safe, be smart, and I'm gonna be a good little monkey and go to sleep.

Love YOU, Your Wifey

YOUR Dog Bit Me

Playing...but he got a face full of snow.

Netflix, Truck, Bruises, Move, and More!

Dear Husband,

First...NETFLIX...the Netflix people have given me multiple solutions, because I called multiple times. One said all you have to do is log on to Netflix.com. Use my name and password, and you should be on.  She also said they no longer give out installation CD's. I called back, second call, no installation CD's try logging on, but if not it may be a quicksilver download you need. That should be in your email. Third call I made, still no CD...so I guess they really wont give me one...do all the above, but if you still can't get on, to call your ISP provider because you're picking up a "dessert" Proxy server, and you need to use the American one. If other guys can get on, then its because they are using the American Proxy server. Last info person went so far as to tell me, "Just have him ask the other guys how they got on." So, that's Netflix.

RENTAL and TRUCK: You know I got stood up by the landlord, and email explains that. --I took the car off for like 3 hours, but I plugged it in again as its still -47. and well, I want the truck to run. Apparently, Shaun's wouldn't run either, and his was plugged in too. So now I don't feel dumb....

BRUISES AND MOVE: As the below photos will show, I am being beaten up by this move. But the top living room is almost all packed. DVD's, CD's, VHS's. I also have packed any hanging and loose uniforms... All of your clothes were packed (previous). I'm not moving on from living room until completely packed, but it's getting there. For a break, I went and closed up some of the sterilite boxes in the craft room. So, that's the moving stuff...I have no idea how I acquired the bruise-- aside from, I have banged my leg on boxes.
--The bruise on my wrist however, which looks like someone mad-handled me...that was the dog, pulling on his leash. I don't give in...so bruising.

DOG--Hunter was awesome again today, we saw the moose (see below photo)...and I'm sure you know where that is. He stopped right there, and made us turn around quickly, straight to the door. No barking, whining, nothing. Just looks up, turns around, and pulls me in a "LETS GO" not run, but quick way. Very smart dog *I* have.

He's feeling better, but getting bored. I put him out for an hour, but it was still -50 in the day, so I brought him back in. He seems to understand, but is still teething, and now its obvious hes grabbing anything to chew...I've started to supply him with the hooves, the smoked bone, and pizzles, but he really wants my gloves, my hands, or something he shouldn't be chewing on :( At this point, I'm praying we get through till we move out...like, I will move the dog and cat and an air mattress, and move them on the 16th! Sigh.

I think that's it in Alaska.... Everyone is staying in due to weather.

I am praying you get a trailer soon, for your rest and mine. I'd love a normal sleep schedule, but my mind won't sleep without talking to you at night. My mom thinks its normal and her solution is naps...but I know that is counter productive. I just want you to have a decent bed. and for your shoulder to not hurt. and to have regular access to Internet, and most of all Non-Douche bag tent mates. I hope you're feeling better.

In other news, Ben's grandma died. We talked, he's okay. Kats handling it.

Okay, so that's the book. I love you, stay safe. You're my everything. Kisses, hugs,

Love YOU, Your Wife

At least the bruising can't be blamed on you...

Given my recent Moose Adventures...

That dot is a moose!

Not the picture of my bra I wanted to send..

A little proof

Deployment Diet Dinner

I'm trying.

Saw these, Laughed quietly to myself